| Hobbies: | Rocks |
| Interests: | Toads |
| Favorite' TV Show: | Wheel of Fortune |
| Idol: | Bill Clinton |
| Dream Date: | Janet Reno |
| Current GPA | -2.03 (and falling like a brick) |
| Net Worth: | 3.58 Million* |
| Home Town: | Pond Skum, Florida |
| Height: | 7 foot 4 inches |
| Weight: | 103 lb |
| Eye Color: | Fucia |
| Favorite Food | Haggis |
| Favorite Color: | Rustolium Red |
| Favorite Car | Pinto |
| Pets: | Bubbles the Newt
Fi Fi the German Wolfhound |
| Best Friend: | Bobo the chair |
| Favorite Continent: | Peru |
| Favorite Band: | Mutilating Squash |
| Favorite Power Tool: | Reciprocating saw |
| Favorite Wrestler: | Spleen Mulcher |
| Favorite Internal Organ: | Pancreas |
| Favorite Sport: | Deep Sea Fly Swatting |
| Favorite Number: | -77,666.2843.14159A+2 |
| Favorite Time of Day: | (tea time) |
| Age | 17 |
*Dead crickets